I've been rambling and I need sleep, as usaul

 I'm just wondering, 'cause I am a very private person (with my myspace account and now my livejournal shit) and I have things to say, and as long as it is only the people/person I want to be reading it, I can spill me dirty laundry, confess my sins, as it were. Confession and then Absolution is not in need of a priest or an Elder, just a like-minded person whom you trust and have some kind of history with. That is my belief.
So m, if you haven't already guessed this question is for your eyes only, perhaps you can, when you have the time, enlighten me. Thanks.

 Just when I forget what that means, time "to myself", I get some. And in actuality its not to myself, just devoted to someone other than my child or husband and for that I have mommy-guilt.
When I feel unfit to be a mother, I remind myself that my PROFESSION is caring for other peoples children....either I'm completely snowing these poor gullible families or I'm an o.k caregiver....i.e.  your babies are safe with me,
I love that I have my son. Before him I was a bit, um, unpredictable, dare I use the word unstable....I feel there is deep within me the capability to be a danger to myself, but never intentionally and I feel like I can protect my son against anything on this earth, in heaven, hell, come what may HE WILL BE SAFE AND HAPPY. Its a horrible entrapment, parenthood, And at the same time offers the greatest, godliness, pure happiness one will ever know....and I really thought I knew happiness when I fell in love the first time.
Davis blew all of that romantic love out of the proverbial water...obliterated it. Not to say that I dont feel deep love and passion for my husband and bonds that will never be broken with certain family members. My sisters will be there for me no matter what and I for them. A few friends that I feel I could lean on if needed, though I really never have needed it....well, maybe a little, and for that thank you all. I hate my weaknesses and neediness.
But enough with my short comings. Lets focus on the positive shall we...I have nice straight teeth (even though alot of them in the back broke off after pregnancy) and never wore braces; My vision is good; I am well read in most circles (in some however I would be thought of as the group illiterate, I'm sure) I try to be a kind person even though this compromises my honesty upon occasion; I can empathize with almost anyone; I've been told I give great head,,,,I cant believe I just wrote that. But I am gonna leave it. So there.
More to come.